Scorpio

“ "Listen here, you sultry scorpion! Today, the planets are aligned for maximum fuckery. You'll be feeling extra horny and full of venomous rage. Watch out for stinging your enemies in the balls and make sure to wear protection when you go on a sexual rampage. Stay away from water signs, they're boring as fuck. And remember: if life gives you lemons, squeeze them onto your enemies' wounds."”